Wedding Rehearsal 101...
Ahhh, the wedding rehearsal. While a very obvious part of the wedding planning process, it’s one that many couples forget to think about until they’re right there at the rehearsal with a room of wedding attendants and family staring at them blankly. On a number of occasions the bride has suddenly turned to me and said “uuuummmmm, now what do I do?!” Well, here you go.
When to hold it…
Typically, most couples hold the rehearsal on the day before the wedding. You usually have most of your wedding party in town (hopefully) by this point, most of your work done, and it's the traditional thing to do. But this isn't the only option, just the most common.
Another option is to hold your rehearsal a couple days or even a week before. Why? Having your rehearsal on Monday through Thursday usually gives you a better chance of holding your rehearsal at the actual ceremony location and time of day of your ceremony - especially during the summer months. Also, if you run through the ceremony and realize you've forgotten to plan for something, or have forgotten to get an important item (such as the unity candle, ring pillow, etc.) you have more time to fix any issues that arise rather than being forced to run around immediately or the morning of the wedding. If you're starting to feel overwhelmed in your planning, you might particularly prefer this option since it will allow you to spread out the events of your wedding rather than cramming it all into 48 hours. Having your rehearsal a few days before also allows you just that much more time to relax on the day before your wedding. Some people have their rehearsal a few days before followed by a small rehearsal dinner with just the wedding party, and then have a relaxed get together with whoever is in town the night before the wedding at a club, pizza place, you name it.
There’s only one time I’d recommend to NOT hold your rehearsal. I’ve seen a few couples try it, and it’s always made it a nightmare and taken the romance out of the ceremony. Avoid holding your rehearsal on your wedding day. People will be more stressed, moody, and it doesn’t leave you any time to fix any problems that may arise. On top of that, should anyone run late for any reason you may miss having a rehearsal altogether.
With the number of options you have, it all comes down to your stress level and how you want to spread it out.
Where to hold it…
If at all possible, hold your rehearsal at the ceremony location. Otherwise, everyone will feel like they're guessing when it comes to the big day of where to stand, etc. It's another one of those little things that will help put everyone a little more at ease on your wedding day. By not having it at your actual location you're not able to necessarily see little problems of where exactly people enter from, what visual obstacles may prevent the photographer or guests to see you during the ceremony, where your party should exactly stand, etc. If you're able to hold it at about the same time of day as your ceremony you'll have a better idea of traffic and parking problems, where the sun will be (is it blinding anyone) and what the temperature will be like. Having your rehearsal somewhere else won't let you take things into consideration, and may cause some undue stress on your wedding day.
Who should be there…
Anyone who will be playing an active role in your ceremony from the time the processional music starts to the time of the recessional should attend. Whether or not your photographer attends is usually their personal preference. Some will include it in the cost, and some will charge (especially if you want them to actually photograph the rehearsal). I personally prefer to attend the rehearsal (but not photograph it), as it gives me a clear idea of the ceremony order, ideas of where to stand at what points, any visual obstacles, and often to help out. Run through your rehearsal at least two times to make sure everyone is comfortable with what they're supposed to do, where to stand, etc. Any children you have planned to be a part of the ceremony should definitely be there. We often forget that little kids can be nervous and shy to new situations and environments. Letting kiddos check out the location, meet the wedding party, and see how the ceremony should go will make them feel better, too.
What to cover at your rehearsal…
The rehearsal is done to make sure everyone knows what's going on from the order of the ceremony, where to stand, and to calm nerves a bit. It doesn't matter how many times you've been married before, it's just a good idea to take even fifteen minutes to go through it with everyone that will be involved.
Don't forget to make sure all your key players know where they're supposed to be on the wedding day and at what times - especially if you're having any photos done before the ceremony. The rehearsal is one of the few times you may have everyone together -take advantage of it. Make sure everyone is on the same page, wake-up calls are figured out (always a good idea if everyone isn't sleeping at the same place), tuxes and gowns are picked up, transportation to the ceremony location is figured out, who's helping with clean up and the overall schedule of the day. This will help cut down on "issues" and confusion on the wedding day. (A side tip, have all the guys brought their tuxes to the rehearsal and look in the bags to make sure every item is there. I’ve seen more than just a few panic moments the morning of the wedding when tux pants are missing, shoes, etc.)
What to bring and what to "prepare"…
If you're standing in front of your crew and it feels like chaos - welcome to a typical wedding rehearsal! I have yet to attend one in my over 20 years of being involved with weddings when it didn't initially feel a bit "mobbish". That's why it's called the rehearsal. If you have someone that's coordinating your big day they will probably run the rehearsal for you - which is definitely a perk. If you're braving the planning yourself, don't worry. Just get everyone's attention, stay calm, laugh and go with the flow. And remember - the sooner you get through the rehearsal, the sooner you get to start the rehearsal dinner! Make sure you have all of your ceremony order figured out and written down before you get there - including the order of who's walking in the processional. Give thought (beforehand) to where you want people to stand, sit, etc. Remember, this is supposed to be a rehearsal, not a development meeting. Feeling a little extra motivated? Why not bring copies for your wedding party to look at during the rehearsal. It'll help keep them involved and a little more focused, too. Keep your sense of humor with you, have some fun, and remember that this whole process is to lead you to the kiss at the end of the ceremony. It’ll all be worth it.
Have some questions about how to do your rehearsal? Don’t hesitate to ask! I’m happy to help make your day as smooth as possible (if I’m your photographer or not!)
Tags: Wedding Planning