Creating Your Ceremony...
Please keep in mind that this blog does not really reflect any specific religious requirements or aspects of a wedding ceremony. It’s just meant to be a general outline to get your minds brainstorming.
THE PROCESSIONAL (aka – everyone get in here!)
This is the beginning of the ceremony and is basically just getting “props” set and everyone in their places. As with anything in your ceremony, these can be put into whatever order speaks the most to you and your fiancé.
1. Lighting of the Bachelor Candles or other Candle Ceremony (the two side candles next to your unity candle). In my experience, I usually see the mothers of the bride and groom lighting these candles. Then the actual Unity Candle is lit generally later in the ceremony. Since there’s a lot of variations to the Unity Candle (or unity “object”), I’ve also posted another blog entitled “Unity Candle Options” with all sorts of ideas.
2. Seating of Honored Guests: This is usually grandparents, special aunts/uncles, siblings, generally immediate family. It usually starts with grandparents and then the parents (if they’re not helping escort the bride or groom). They’re usually escorted by groomsmen (if not the groom), or even just your ushers.
3. Seating of the Parents: I’ve seen this done either before the wedding party enters or after. From my experience it depends if all parents are helping escort the bride and groom or not. Just like with the unity candle, I’ve seen many variations on this, so I’ve posted a supplemental blog entitled “Parents and Wedding Processionals”.
4. Entry of the Wedding Party: There’s two general ways you can look at this. You can either have your groomsmen escort your bridesmaids, or have the groom & groomsmen walk up the altar area (typically from the side entry), and then the bridesmaids walk up alone. If you go for the groomsmen escorting, the groom can then escort his parents up in the next step. There’s a lot of fun touches you can do with this part of the ceremony, so check out another blog post “Wedding Party Processionals”.
5. Escorting the Groom: well… if he hasn’t entered already. He can be escorted in by his parents or by his mom.
6. The Ring Bearer and Flower Girl: The ring bearer usually enters first, and the flower girl second. If you have a couple of each, let them walk down together as this will give you a better likelihood that they’ll make it down the aisle in the first place! And above all, I strongly recommend that you don’t give your ring bearers the actual rings. Spend $15 and get a couple fake simple rings and tie those to the pillows. I’ve seen too many rings get dropped and lost because of little kids.
7. The Entry of the Bride & Escort: Typically the bride & her dad, bride & both parents, tons of options – including on where the groom meets up to the bride! Again, yet another side blog with more ideas entitled “Parents and Wedding Processionals”.
Regarding the music for the processional… Usually the family & wedding party will walk up to one song (sometimes even one song for family and another for the wedding party); and then the bride will often walk up to her own song…
THE ACTUAL CEREMONY…
- First off, you usually see the “presentation of the bride” (or bride and groom which is becoming more common) by the officiate asking “who presents this woman” and then “who presents this man”. Depending on your religious customs or preferences, the bride’s escort may literally place her hand in the groom’s, or the escort will simply stand at the side. At this point you’ll most likely be standing with your backs to the guests. When the two of you are “presented” and take your place for the rest of the ceremony, be sure to stand at an angle so your guests (and your photographer) can see at least some profile of your face. Otherwise we just see your backs and can’t see your faces (or the emotion on them!).
- The officiate offers the welcome to the guests. After the welcome your officiate will let you know if any religious readings, prayers, etc. are required at this point.
- Readings or musical selections by honored guests. Again, depending on your officiate’s requirements this may or may not be possible. If you’re trying to find ways to honor specific people that you couldn’t include in the actual wedding party this is a great way to do it. A hint: keep readings or musical selections short – especially music. You never realize how long you’re standing up there until a five minute musical piece!
- Exchange of personal vows: If your officiate allows you to write your own vows that its… If memorizing isn’t your thing you can always read off paper or have your officiate ask you to repeat it.
- Exchange of “official vows” or intentions: Some officiates do require that if you write your own vows that they still ask “do you bride take the groom” and vise versa… with your names, of course! J
- Exchange of the rings: woohoo! Need I say more?
- Lighting of the Unity Candle: Your officiate may have a specific requirement as to when this must be done in the ceremony. Some people choose to do it before the ceremony even officially starts, some do it immediately after the vows and rings, some do it after they’ve officially been announced as Mr. & Mrs. When you light your candles, be sure to stand to the sides and not directly in front of the candles. Otherwise your guests (and your photographer) won’t be able to see the wonderful moment of the candle being lit.
- The Signing of the Marriage License: A little less than half of the time I see couples integrate this into their ceremony. It’s definitely an option and a neat little touch to the ceremony.
- “The Stamp of Approval” and the Presentation the Mr. & Mrs.!
- The Kiss!!! Now… one photography comment on the kiss. Some couples like to a quick “peck” for their kiss. Only problem with this is that your photographer may miss the kiss. The best way to ensure that the moment is caught is make your kiss last for three seconds. An easy way to make sure that happens is to say in your mind “I love you, I love you, I love you”. You don’t have to do a huge sloppy kiss, just hold that peck and soak in the moment!
THE RECESSIONAL (aka – get the heck out and let’s party!)
- Of course, you’ll lead the recessional out. Make it a fun, upbeat song or something romantic and traditional. You can walk out gracefully, pick up the bride and run out, or, as my husband and I did, jump on his back and piggyback the way out of the hall!
- Typically, the wedding party will then lead out one at a time starting with maid of honor with best man, etc, etc. Then parents will typically follow.
THE RECEIVING LINE
The Receiving Line usually doesn’t include the full wedding party and family any longer. These days it’s usually just the bride and groom, as that’s really only who the guests really want to greet. The only other members you might want to include would be the parents. Save your wedding party members and guest some awkwardness, and leave to just the two of you. That being said, there are a few ways to do your receiving line.
- Immediately following the ceremony as guests are leaving the hall to go the another location for the reception.
- At the very beginning of the reception as the guests arrive to the new location. Keep in mind, this is very difficult to accomplish unless you have a car waiting out front of the ceremony venue waiting to wisk you away. Otherwise, guests usually beat you to the reception.
- After you’ve run down the aisle at the end of the reception go right back up the top of the aisle and greet your guests as they leave aisle by aisle. Yes, a little awkward when you first walk back up the aisle, but at least your guests can sit while they’re waiting to greet you.
- Take the time to go table to table during the reception and greet your guests. Oftentimes, guests prefer this option. You can spend more time talking with your guests without feeling as rushed. Even better, your guests don’t have to wait in line to say hello to you for 10 seconds and can really congratulate you.
When it comes right down to it, you need to make your ceremony reflect you and your fiancé. Take the time to really put some though into it, research some cultural and religious traditions that you can incorporate. Really make it your own, as much as your officiate will allow. If something is really important to you, and your officiate isn’t as excited, stand your ground and they’ll sometimes compromise with you as their restrictions allow. Sometimes you’ll find you’ll be more restricted in an actual religious venue, than if you use the same officiate at a non-religious venue.
Bottom line – have fun and good luck!!!
Have a question or want to share your idea? Email me at dawn@dlhgphoto.com!
Tags: Wedding Planning